My twins turn ten this weekend. That means I have a decade of experience in parenting. If I was building my resume, I’d say that makes me an industry expert.
At the tail end of a fun, long weekend one of my daughters came to me with a confession. I’m not going to go into details, but let’s just say it started as something minor, something she could have fessed up to much earlier and probably wouldn’t have received too severe of a punishment; BUT then there was a series of cover ups, misrepresentations and lies by omission that ensued. By the time we unraveled the entire story I had deduced that one of my sweet, kind-hearted, intelligent daughters acted like a thug. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started wearing gang colors soon.
A few months back, when my blog was brand spanking new, I went to lunch with a friend. As I rolled in fashionably late, she told me, “I wanted to make sure I was on time…I didn’t want you to blog about your late friends!”
I’m sure she was kidding. At least I think she was kidding.
After that, I went on a very fun girls weekend. Let’s just say the words: “This better not end up on the blog!” were uttered more than a few times. And rightfully so. We have PTA mom reps to protect.
I talked to a friend of mine the other night who told me a heart wrenching story about how a group of 7th grade girls literally got up from a lunch table and moved when her daughter sat down at it. They certainly had a good reason to do it. After all, an 8th grade hottie asked her daughter to the dance and (gasp) she said yes. Unbeknownst to her the boy was verbally taken and off-limits. Yes, I know this sounds like Mean Girls, Part Deux but in fact it wasn’t. It’s just another day in a garden variety middle school in a small New York town.
It finally happened. My almost ten-year old asked me when she was going to get a cell phone. Her exact words were: “I don’t have to have one right now, but I heard some of the kids in my class are getting one for their tenth birthdays, so I was just wondering.”
Break ups are never easy, and this one is really tough. Seeing your blue eyes for the last time as I snapped the Rubber Maid lid on your resting place made me feel pretty bummed. I’m really going to miss you.
It’s funny how sometimes you can change the course of your own history in your head, but one small conversation can jolt your memory back to another time. I feel like my persona today is that I am very open about my parenting style and resolute in advocating in the best interest of my children, particularly when it came to raising my twins and the developmental challenges they both faced, one a little more severe than the other.
“Who are your friends at school?” I ask.
“Everyone!” she responds.
The other night, my husband was out of town, and I decided to take the girls to pick up some Lou Malnati’s (the BEST Chicago deep dish) as a treat. Lou Malnati’s doesn’t deliver to our area, so I packed up my five year-old and three-month-old, and headed to the next town over.
The entire experience was a perfect representation of my oldest child’s personality.
A fellow mom of multiples and I were chatting the other day about how people still think we have our hands full because we have twins, but in our minds, once your kids get a little older, it’s no different than any family having two children close together.
And I would even argue that sometimes having two is even easier than having one. Constant playmates, more offers of help, and constant playmates (did I say that twice?) are just some of the bonuses of having your children in pairs (or triplets) as opposed to one.