We cannot let ourselves become angry or bitter because we see someone trying to do their part. A person is not a hypocrite for deciding to speak out or support a cause that motivates him to act. It is okay for different people to have certain burdens on their heart.
And then I started digging deeper and realized it’s not so much about dinner as it is about dishing. Family dinner time is often the only time families are spending together, which is why it is so important. Spending time together. Now that is something I can work with. I also forced myself to take a long, hard look at my kids and I remembered that these girls are happy and healthy. We are doing okay.
I am excited to write about my dinnertime dilemma further on one of my favorite sites: Lies About Parenting (LAP). LAP debunks popular parenting “advice” that may not work for everyone in order to raise happier healthier kids — and parents.
Find my article here (http://liesaboutparenting.com/family-dinner-bonding-alternatives/).
Because the truth is, I feel guilty too. I wonder if I am the best example to my kids at times, if I am demonstrating girl-power. I am comfortable if they choose to follow my path, but I don’t want them to do it out of fear or resignation. I want them to understand they have the power of choice.
And my brand of feminism has to do with two things and two things only — equality and choice. Feminists who came before us fought for the right to choose a life that was on their terms —whether that was staying at home or participating in the workforce.
I am the first to admit that I rolled my eyes at this story. Here it is, yet again, a bunch of girls more obsessed with taking a selfie than interacting with the real world. But then something stopped me dead in my tracks.
But as my girls grow up, I am seeing there are more and more measurements that can bring them down. And I’m finding the best defense is a good offense, so here are three measurements I’m talking about with my girls:
The woman who wrote the article lambasted me from the get-go. She called me out by name. In fact, she actually called me a few names. As I read through the post, my heart beat a little faster. My hands were sweating. I felt embarrassed and shamed and yes, even a little bit angry.
I made a deal with myself. She didn’t have to do it next year, but she had to finish what she started. I did not want to raise a quitter.
There seems to be a major divide when it comes to interfering on your child’s behalf when it comes to their relationships. Some people look at it in a positive way — tweens and young teens do not have the emotional intelligence to deal with some of these issues, so when possible, it can be effective for all involved to sit down together and hash things out. And even when the issue is a misunderstanding — and especially if there was an established friendship between families — you let the other person know that their feelings matter and you exemplify how two people can resolve conflict in a peaceful and mature way. If your child was the one doing something wrong, you also could make them accountable for their behavior.
What I learned that evening, is that as parents we’re all headed to the same destination, but we take different vehicles to get there. And no matter what we drive, we’re all going to face the same parenting pot holes.
I am unsure why this particular outing causes me to choke back tears, paralyzing me in the moment. I have watched my twin daughters ride to their various friends’ houses all summer without significance.
But this Friday is the last one before fifth grade starts. It is their last summer weekend as elementary students. Next year the pair will be middle schoolers.