I recently came across a quote that said: “We are looking for affirmation, not information.”

It resonated with me because I think it hits the nail on the head in regards to what social media has been like lately. We are looking to point out other’s flaws, so we don’t have to look at our own.

It reminded me of a time with my daughter, when she stood up to a bully, and then a few weeks later, couldn’t stand up to a friend. And it made me wonder, what sort of example are we setting? What are we teaching our kids.

I’m up on Her View From Home today with a new piece. Thanks for following!

Teaching Kids to Speak Up — Even to Their Friends

When my daughter was in fourth grade, I received an email from another mother.

“I just wanted to say how grateful I am that our girls are friends. A 5th grader started picking on Joy on the playground, and your daughter stood up for her. You are really raising her right!”

I felt proud that she stood up to this bully and hopeful that all those discussions about kindness and bravery resonated with her.

A few months later, I walked into the same daughter’s room to find bright pink nail polish on her brand new bedspread and carpet. I became irate. “You know you aren’t allowed to do your nails in your bedroom! What were you thinking?”

Tears immediately streamed out of her eyes. “I tried to tell Joy that she should do them in the bathroom, but she said it would be fine. She wouldn’t listen!”

After I calmed down and rational thought returned, I spoke to my daughter about it in more detail. I wanted to understand how she could stand up to a bully older than her, yet couldn’t get her friend to follow our house rules. To read more, visit here.

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